Friday, February 10, 2012

Something my first boyfriend had said to me,

Alex (June 22, 2011; 2:11PM): I have something to share with you, re-reading and rethinking about our relationship has brought up this old horrible feeling. 
I know I was your first serious relationship, and that you didn't really know what was going on most of the time psyche-wise, but you HAVE To bond with your partner. (I am not saying we didn't bond, I am saying we could've bonded better)
Something you have a hard time with is connecting on THEIR emotional or mental level. Bond with them, not over activities or silly dates (we did tons of that), bond with them emotionally, sit down, take their hand, and talk. just TALK, talk about their feelings, force them to share themselves.
We never did it, but I know I would've been a lot happier if we did. Something I felt throughout the entire thing was that you didn't care enough to try to reach deeper into me, into who I was. Now, I know that this isn't completely true, and there are factors that may change everything, such as my not completely being open with you, and that you not knowing what to say.
But you have to do it, you have to force it. "I shouldn't have to pressure you into sharing with me..." You're right, you SHOULDN'T have to, but sometimes you just do, sometimes, with some people, you just need to push a little bit for whatever reason. Life isn't set in stone, there's no perfect line to say to anyone, because everyone is generally different.
I don't know, I'm just going to incorporate this into future relationships, you might not have to, since you might meet a partner who's PERFECT at doing this. 
Point is, you suck at it, work at it. It's important, I guarantee you, if you succeed, you and that lucky person will be all the happier.

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